I have struggled with tobacco for most of my post-pubescent life, having experimented with most forms and most brands at one time or another. I'm currently in a smoking phase again, but I've discovered an excellent way to let that phase go: gross cigarettes.
The first piece of advice in the "7 Day to Quit Smoking" manual distributed for free by my college is to change the brand you smoke to a brand you don't enjoy. I did not set out intending to do this, instead going "What's that stuff I used to smoke in high school?" Hoping to further enjoy my tobacco adventures.
This led to my acquisition of a box of Marlboro "Reds," for some thought to be Jesus in cigarette form but for most a pretty good way to remember that cigarettes aren't that much fun. The whole experience is jarring. It begins well: you smell the cigarette. It smells like a cigarette should...tobacco-y. You then light and inhale. Immediately the filter turns a gross yellow color.
In your mouth is the unbridled, untarnished Marlboro flavor. The Marlboro Man was a tough guy because he had to be. This stuff tastes like sin and makes you feel awful. Upon taking my first drag, I felt as if I had at once managed to cheat on my girlfriend, sell nuclear secrets to the Chinese, and watch the Glenn Beck program. (I kid Glenn, I kid).
I have heard of parents punishing their children for smoking by forcing them to smoke an entire pack at once if they get caught smoking. I'm thinking about offering my kids a Marlboro red outright. Any time they want one. These things are the best anti-smoking device in the entire universe, at about 1/10 the cost of the patch.
The first piece of advice in the "7 Day to Quit Smoking" manual distributed for free by my college is to change the brand you smoke to a brand you don't enjoy. I did not set out intending to do this, instead going "What's that stuff I used to smoke in high school?" Hoping to further enjoy my tobacco adventures.
This led to my acquisition of a box of Marlboro "Reds," for some thought to be Jesus in cigarette form but for most a pretty good way to remember that cigarettes aren't that much fun. The whole experience is jarring. It begins well: you smell the cigarette. It smells like a cigarette should...tobacco-y. You then light and inhale. Immediately the filter turns a gross yellow color.
In your mouth is the unbridled, untarnished Marlboro flavor. The Marlboro Man was a tough guy because he had to be. This stuff tastes like sin and makes you feel awful. Upon taking my first drag, I felt as if I had at once managed to cheat on my girlfriend, sell nuclear secrets to the Chinese, and watch the Glenn Beck program. (I kid Glenn, I kid).
I have heard of parents punishing their children for smoking by forcing them to smoke an entire pack at once if they get caught smoking. I'm thinking about offering my kids a Marlboro red outright. Any time they want one. These things are the best anti-smoking device in the entire universe, at about 1/10 the cost of the patch.
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